no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
