haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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