Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
