I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
