Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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