Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
