Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
