If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
