let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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