I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
