So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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