Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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