no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
