dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
