I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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