therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize