tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
