we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
