so that wasnt chicken after all
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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