Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
