she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
