There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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