At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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