Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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