Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
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