Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just blew my weed a kiss
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
