i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
