I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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