Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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