Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
