All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
