Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
