I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My bed smells like the plague
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
