I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
