whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
