What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
