just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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