Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
