Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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