Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
