I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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