What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
