i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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