Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
