Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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