You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
