Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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