Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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