I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
