I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
