Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
