i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
