I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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