can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
